A recent news article about a Philadelphia judge that dealt with minors for misconduct was baffling. The article stated that former Luzerne County Judge Mark Ciavarella deliberately assigned juveniles to detention and treatment centers while making financial gains, even if the misdemeanors were trivial in nature such as insulting the assistant school principal, or skating in a prohibited park. Ha.
So much for judicial correction. Not that I don't believe in the state's correctional facilities to bring justice to the average criminal, but it is questionable as to how parents are expected to completely relenquish control over their child to some third party without being able to discipline their child themselves. It is usually unacceptable in the American culture, and now becoming so in Indian culture, to 'discipline' your kids using harsh measures. However, it is a commonly accepted assumption that you spare the rod, and you spoil the child.
In this case, wouldn't it be so much easier if these parents perceived it as okay to use some stricter forms of discipline than just "grounding" at an earlier stage? Perhaps we as a society become more open to stricter parenting.
I do agree that there are parents who will abuse their children if given the leverage and will take undue advantage of this acceptability. However, such individuals tend to abuse the system anyway. Most parents genuinely care for their children and only discipline when necessary. A few punishable consequences to their unacceptable behavior will send a clear message to young children at an earlier stage prohibiting legal misbehavior.
Go on, slap that child, proudly. Okay, I'm kidding. But seriously.
Showing posts with label western parenting. Show all posts
Showing posts with label western parenting. Show all posts
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
Monday, January 17, 2011
Want to grade my parents? Check my report card!
I came across an interesting article on the 'Oriental' style of parenting that I thought deserved some discussion. The full article can be read by copying and pasting the link below (I tried hyperlinking, but it didnt work):
http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052748704111504576059713528698754.html?mod=WSJ_hp_us_mostpop_read
The article is pretty long, but I cited it so that it can be confirmed that what I'm inferring from it is in fact true. The author, Mrs. Amy Chua, proudly states the things that her daughters are not allowed to do, and how she is ensures that her children will be successful when they grow up. She goes on to suggest that her techniques and discussions are Chinese in that they are mostly Asian, and that when she compares her parenting style to her Western counterparts, she just means parenting that is more 'loose' than hers.
I have a lot of personal issues with Mrs. Chua's extreme parenting techniques, but aside from just that, her defense on why her approach is better is baffling to say the least.
To suggest that the only way to ensure success in children is to be extremely strict, insulting, belittleing, blackmailing, threatening, and superficial is outrageous. She suggests, or claims rather, that academic success is the only way to judge good parenting. So clearly, any student that performs horribly in school has horrible parents.
She further states that 'Western' parents care too much about their child's self-esteem and self-worth, and not enough about their success. How can one acheive the latter without the former two? Aren't those necessary ingredients to attain confidence and motivation to perform better?
I'm not sure if this is how all Chinese parents think, but if it is, then I can safely state that their kids lead very very sad and monotonous lives. If individuality and uniqueness is not promoted at home, how is the child supposed to realize their strengths, weaknesses, true passions, interests, etc? Are they all supposed to be robotic in nature and have one single goal of being number one in academics? Let's get real, there can only be one number one. Durrr.
I don't agree with a lot of the Western philosophy on life. I don't agree on giving up when it's too hard, or having a fragile psyche that hurts my character everytime I hear something negative about myself, but I definitely don't think that doing the exact opposite is the most effective way of parenting. Being insulted and called "garbage" just because I can't solve a math problem under 30 milliseconds is ridiculous. I think most 'Westerners' would agree with that statement.
I have excelled and gotten straight A's all throughout my academic career, but that was not due to good or bad parenting, but due to personal motivation, drive, and competence. Success is not simply measured by good grades, but by excelling in your passion. I consider myself pretty Asian in my beliefs, but if being Asian means being a cookie cutter parent with cookie cutter kids, I guess I'm as occidental as it gets!
http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052748704111504576059713528698754.html?mod=WSJ_hp_us_mostpop_read
The article is pretty long, but I cited it so that it can be confirmed that what I'm inferring from it is in fact true. The author, Mrs. Amy Chua, proudly states the things that her daughters are not allowed to do, and how she is ensures that her children will be successful when they grow up. She goes on to suggest that her techniques and discussions are Chinese in that they are mostly Asian, and that when she compares her parenting style to her Western counterparts, she just means parenting that is more 'loose' than hers.
I have a lot of personal issues with Mrs. Chua's extreme parenting techniques, but aside from just that, her defense on why her approach is better is baffling to say the least.
To suggest that the only way to ensure success in children is to be extremely strict, insulting, belittleing, blackmailing, threatening, and superficial is outrageous. She suggests, or claims rather, that academic success is the only way to judge good parenting. So clearly, any student that performs horribly in school has horrible parents.
She further states that 'Western' parents care too much about their child's self-esteem and self-worth, and not enough about their success. How can one acheive the latter without the former two? Aren't those necessary ingredients to attain confidence and motivation to perform better?
I'm not sure if this is how all Chinese parents think, but if it is, then I can safely state that their kids lead very very sad and monotonous lives. If individuality and uniqueness is not promoted at home, how is the child supposed to realize their strengths, weaknesses, true passions, interests, etc? Are they all supposed to be robotic in nature and have one single goal of being number one in academics? Let's get real, there can only be one number one. Durrr.
I don't agree with a lot of the Western philosophy on life. I don't agree on giving up when it's too hard, or having a fragile psyche that hurts my character everytime I hear something negative about myself, but I definitely don't think that doing the exact opposite is the most effective way of parenting. Being insulted and called "garbage" just because I can't solve a math problem under 30 milliseconds is ridiculous. I think most 'Westerners' would agree with that statement.
I have excelled and gotten straight A's all throughout my academic career, but that was not due to good or bad parenting, but due to personal motivation, drive, and competence. Success is not simply measured by good grades, but by excelling in your passion. I consider myself pretty Asian in my beliefs, but if being Asian means being a cookie cutter parent with cookie cutter kids, I guess I'm as occidental as it gets!
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