Wednesday, January 5, 2011

Wedding. Reality. Realizations.

I have been MIA for a while now. But considering all the craziness and insanity that involves in getting married, I think it is fair to say that I was ridiculously busy.
Big fat Indian wedding. This phrase is no overstatement. Considering that my own wedding was the first and only one I have attended so far (wow), I can say that this experience is definitely one of a kind. Aside from all the pressures of looking, behaving and engaging like the perfect Indian bride, there is a lot of unsaid aura in the air around this time.
Since most of my close cousins and friends came from overseas, their point of view was different than the other traditional guests and thankfully attending to my close ones took most of my time around the actual wedding.
However, a few months and weeks leading up to the wedding, there is a requirement to be in complete Indian mode and in dedication to the gala of functions that are about to happen in celebrations.
I had a "love" marriage to a guy I have known my whole life, whose family has considered me their own since god knows how long, but even then, I can say I went through a pretty traditional experience.
Aside from all the joy and great cloud nine emotions, there is another set of experiences that changes you as a person after going through this intense wedding fiasco. I think it can be safely said that the way weddings work in our society, and what is expected out of the families of the groom and the bride, that Indian weddings make you materialistic in process.
Let me explain. I would not consider myself a greedy or manipulative person. I am pretty simple minded and a hopeless romantic when it comes to matters of the heart. The great thing is that it's the heart at work until all the formal processions begin. What I found amazing was that from being a person that knew nothing about weddings or the formalities surrounding the same, I found myself getting sucked into all the politics and material "stuff". Superficial matters that will subside shortly once everything is over, but its a blackhole nonetheless.
It took some self analysis for me to realize what was going on, and after stepping away I realized that each of these wedding traditions had, at one point, a significance to the overall scheme of things. It mattered why certain people got certain gifts, or why the bride received X grams of gold, etc, etc. However, in this day and age, most of these practices have lost their true value due to the renewed sense of culture in our society.
Perhaps its time we revised these traditions to better suit what we want out of our lives instead of just our wedding. And I got to do some of that at my wedding. I didn't re-establish customs or omit any important ceremonies, but I did get to pick and choose what I wanted associated to our wedding.
It's been six weeks now, and I am happier than ever. I can't remember the controversies or the disagreements, but I remember having the perfect wedding I could have asked for. I guess having a fairy tale wedding is possible, as long as you're ready to walk away from all the useless reality.


Asha said...

your blogs are GREAT!

I used to be Irene.. said...

thanks pretty lady, more to come :)